Jelly Beans


Every time I write a review of a classic treat, I say something along the lines of "I'm not sure why it's taken me so long to write this review". Jellybeans however are not the case at all. I know several reasons why it's taken me so long to write this review. It's because this is likely one of the most important candies in the world, a classic, so I wanted to give them the justice they deserved. There's also the problem of the flavours, should I pick one flavour and review it, or review them as a group? Finally, there's the fact that I'm very familiar with jellybeans, I've been eating them my whole life. How do I write about them without my personal nostalgia coming through? It's not easy, and I imagine this might turn into one of the longest reviews I've ever written because of these problems.

I've decided that I'm going to review these jellybeans in two ways, first as individual flavours, then as a collective group. There are two colours of jelly beans that are more mysterious than others, white and pink. The pink has a distinct flavour, my best guess would be bubble gum, but I might be influenced by the colour. The white jelly bean seems to be less flavourful than the rest, this one I just ate seems to have taken on the flavour of the black ones. The purple jelly beans are grape flavoured, but not that strong, I would really like to try a strong flavoured grape jelly bean some day. Orange is simple, it tastes like an orange popsicle. Yellow is also simple, fake lemon, but so very tasty. Black jelly beans where the bane of my childhood existence, I likely threw away more of these licorice jelly beans as a kid than I ate. The red jelly beans taste like some kind of delicious red berry, but I can’t for the life of the tell you exactly which berry that is. Green jelly beans, you either love or hate. I love green mint jelly beans, and I feel that it’s about time someone made it possible to buy only the green ones in bulk.

For the second part of this review, I'm eating one of every flavour jelly bean in one bite. This is likely the first time in my life that I’ve taken the time to make sure that there is one every single flavour of jelly bean in one mouthful. I’ve eaten handfuls before, but I generally don’t pay attention to which ones I’m shoving in my mouth at any given time. As you bite into each there’s a burst of its individual flavour, but after each has been bitten, you have a few seconds of mixed flavour that quickly dies into a flavourless nothing. Eating several jelly beans in one mouth full is texturally fun, but the quick loss of flavour is really disappointing.