Unicorn Balls "Fizz"


I guess what this candy is trying to tell me is that not only are unicorn’s testicles edible, but they have the texture and flavour of hard candy. Of all of these gimmick candies that are supposed to represent either testicles or bodily functions, this is the hardest to compare to reality. My first reaction when I get a candy or dessert that’s supposed to represent something that I shouldn’t be eating is to compare it to the reality. It means that my internet search history is full of weird searches for various poops and body parts. I could look up unicorn testicles, but I would only find estimations as to what they might look like since unicorns are fictional creatures. In other words, Fini couldn’t get the design of this candy wrong.

According to Fini, a unicorn’s testicle is a sort of dull rainbow colour, and tastes sour on the outside but fruity on the inside. The fruit flavour is also not any particular fruit, it’s probably closest to a fruit punch, but not exactly. The sour coating on the outside is also really powerful, so powerful that for the first few seconds of sucking on this hard candy, I couldn’t taste anything except sour. As a hard candy goes it’s fine, nothing spectacular or revolutionary, but it wasn’t bad either. The package implies that there should be some kind of “fizz” happening, but I frankly didn’t feel anything fizzy at all.

The colour of this candy was a bit of a disappointment. Based on the package, and the fact that it was unicorn related, I was expecting some fairly bright colours. The colours were in fact kind of dull and muddied. It did dye my tong blue, but that was probably the brightest colour in the whole candy. I can’t say that I was disappointed with this candy, but I wasn’t blown away either. I think had they found a way to make it fizz as promised, I would have enjoyed it more.